The Madness has Begun!!

It's November 2nd everyone!! And that means NaNoWriMo has officially begun! How awesome is that?!

Yesterday was something of a rough day for me. I missed German AGAIN because I couldn't get up! SO FRUSTRATING. I got quite a bit of work done though. I need to come to the library more often to study. It helps me focus better. And even when I get distracted, I always end up going back to what I was doing. If I'm at home, I have this tendency to give it up and start something else ^^;; whoops.

Anyway. Nano.

I was really eager to get going on it, but I didn't actually start until last night. Sunday I threw a Halloween/Reformation day party and two of my friends were there really late. By the time they left it was already 11:30 but I was too exhausted to stay up and start NaNo write at midnight like I have before. I went to bed and crashed.

I didn't want to make NaNo a priority over school because it really shouldn't be. So I used it to my advantage! I didn't allow myself to write it AT ALL until my other work was done. I didn't start writing until after 10pm! And yet, in an hour and a half, I had 1,759 words! Yay! And I don't hate it! It's an introduction which I always dread writing, but it turned out really well =D

I'm happy.

Today I also have a lot of work to do. I was also the first one up this morning. Yay me! Even before Emily, which almost NEVER happens =D It was a good start. I was one of the last ones to leave, but that's ok. I had a nice and relaxing morning. My bed is made, I actually ate breakfast for once, and I'm ready to go for the rest of my day! Yay!! =D

I don't even know what else to say. I'm sleepy but it's probably the music. I have to listen to classical/baroque style music for my French Civ class and write about it. I love that my homework assignment is on Pandora. XD It's pretty great.

Isaiah project = total crap. I don't like how it's going. I might switch to a lesson plan. Who knows? I'm just not doing very well with it. It's due on the 11th or the 12th, I can't remember which. It means I'm running out of time. I'm doing very well with my French project, but because of that I've been slacking in this one.

Why does my school insist on making religion classes so hard? I don't get it. It makes me resent taking them. -sigh- Oh well. Next semester my teacher is supposed to be pretty easy. Here's hoping, right?

Anyway, time to get back to work.

Toodles!

And, just to PROVE how awesome I am, take a look!! (I had more written on it, but the file was too big so I cropped it. Ignore that other random stuff plz XD lol thnx)

NaNo Meme

Bored. Not wanting to do homework for the next 2 hours. Rawr.

NANOWRIMO MEME!!!!

Working Title: Humanoid City
Genre: Science Fiction
Projected Word Count: uh...?

AT THE START DO YOU:
Have an outline?: yes
Know how it starts?: not really... I don't know which story I'll put first
Know how it ends?: same. Though I think I'll end it with a chapter about how things turned out for everyone.
Have your climax in order?: sure.
Know your main characters yet?: Most of them.
Plan to draw on your own experiences?: Some instances. Not too many though.

IS YOUR WORK GOING TO BE:
Funny?: Not really.
Serious?: Pretty much.
Sad?: Sometimes
Semi-Autobiographical?: Only one part of one chapter
Based on another story?: Nope. I'm reusing a couple characters whose own stories got scrapped though

HOW MUCH HAVE YOU PLANNED? HAVE YOU USED:
A paper journal?: notebook
Multicolored pens?: yep :D
A computer?: yesh
Index cards?: nope
Bulleted lists?: eh... somewhat.
Plot Charts?: Nah
Character Charts?: Not really
Character formulas?: Wha?
Favorite writing resource?: My Crazy Mind

ODDS AND ENDS:
A line you would like to use: "Don't worry. Seriously. If anyone tries to stop you, I'll drop kick them in the face. I have enough money that it won't matter."
A scene you would like to include: A scene where one of the characters (Jim) is up all night working because he can't bring himself to stop. I figure I'll pull an all nighter for that one and base it on the others I've done.
A cliché you would like to avoid: All of them?

FORWARD THINKING:
Do you expect to be able to complete it?: In November? Possibly not. We'll see how school goes.
Do you intend to complete it?: Oh yes. For sure. Like I said though, we'll see.
Would you ever try to publish it?: Yeah. Once it's been polished up and everything.
What do you expect to get out of this month of frantic writing?: Motivation and better time planning. I'm slacking and having NaNo gives me more to do. I always do better when I have too much to do than not enough.

School Nazis

I'm totally skipping German today. Oops. I didn't get nearly enough work done yesterday and I had to stay up WAY too late. So I slept in and now I'm going to work through German class. I should be leaving... now actually haha. To get there on time I mean. But I'm not going.

I love German, don't get me wrong. It's the language closest to my heart even though it's the 4th one I've attempted to learn. (Japanese hardly counts on that front... I usually count German as my 3rd language.) I wish I were better at it, but to get better one of the things I SHOULD do is go to class. But it's so STRESSFUL!!!

I can't even say how many times I've wanted to call my professor a Nazi like I and many others in this country call their teachers. I guess it's an American thing because it's not exactly funny... just descriptive in something of a hyperbolic (that's actually a word?!?!) way. But I can't do that with this specific professor. Why? Cause he was in Germany during the war. And he was like... 10? when it started. His father was on one side of the wall and he and his family were on the other. Not funny.

BUT GRAH!!! What else do I call him??? T.T We're apparently really uncreative.

All tough teacher references I've EVER heard involve communists, dictators, and Nazis. WHAT ELSE IS THERE?!?! There are SOOOOO many words in the world!! Why can't we come up with something better?? Or different that I can use??

Anyway. I'm not going because I'm not prepared because I had other obligations. I'm behind in EVERYTHING because I'm human and need sleep and food and stuff. And going unprepared is stressful beyond imagining. I WANT to go, but the class is so small and he likes calling me. We've known one another for a while so he usually calls on me or one of the other kids who went to Berlin. (He was the program director, did I say that yet? No? Ok. Well he was.)

I really do love him. He's awesome. But he's a REALLY rough teacher to have. My room mate is in his medieval German class and she says it's ridiculous there too. At least German is HER primary major. It's not mine and my experience of it (or really lack thereof) is putting me in a SEVERELY difficult position. I'm already behind and I don't know how it's even possible for me to catch up. So I get discouraged. And then I don't go to class. Vicious cycle, ne?

Anyway I need to get to work. Need to finish my French project today. I only have until the 12th (I think) for my Isaiah project and I have almost nothing on it so far. My French project is just a matter of compiling all the information I already have and making it look pretty. Oh and flourishing it all up with references. Official ones haha.

This weekend is going to be long. Tomorrow night I get to go to Maddie's halloween party and Sunday is my day off. Whoo... I can do this. Not even 36 hours. Go team!!!

P.S. Dad told me he's buying me a car. o.O Awesome? yes. Oh and starting me on a budget.

And that he wants me to go to Law School for international law or business. Which sounds cool to me. But yeah.... that's gonna take some thought. I hate nothing more than entrance exams, but it'd be worth it in the long run, no?

I think I mentioned this before... who knows. Last post was written during moments of utter exhaustion. So yeah.... doesn't count for much.

David was hard to wake up and kick out of my kitchen ^^;;; At least I got in to all the classes I wanted. CLASSES THREE DAYS A WEEK FTW!!! \o/ I'm excited haha.

Ok done now. Bye! =D

Exhausted

I'm writing this very late at night. Well, for me at least.

Lots of things have been going on lately for a lot of the people in my life.

My brother's girlfriend is gone. Yesterday was their 9 month anniversary and also the day he took her to the missionary training center. She's just down the street and he can't even see her.

I don't know what's going on with David, my almost-brother, but something is up. I asked him what was going on and he was thinking of a response. Or so he said. In actuality, he fell asleep with his head on my kitchen table.

Emily is losing a lot of wonderful people for a lot of different reasons. She's going through a rough time and the school work is piling up.

There are more but it doesn't really matter.

Right now, I want to do everything I can for everyone. I want to be there for everyone! But it's just not possible. I really hate that. I want to be there for my friends, but I'm already behind in school and at work. Work doesn't really matter so much, but I won't get paid any if I don't work. -sigh- It doesn't really matter, but I don't want to slack off at my job just because my boss doesn't care all that much how many hours I work each week.

At the same time, my dad is now pushing me in the direction of Law School. He thinks I should try international business or law. It sounds appealing to me, I have to admit. I wanted to go to law school when I was younger, which was then replaced by the desire to go to medical school. The want to be a forensic scientist fazed in a out as the years went by. The thought of being a teacher has always been there, but it's had its shining moments and its moments of neglect.

There's a lot on my mind, but I'm surprisingly calm. Two projects due before too long and they're very time-consuming. Almost boring. I know the material for the most part and just have to get it all out and in the proper language. I have SO much work to do and very little energy to do it all WITH.

My responsibilities are pulling me in several different directions. I don't like having to choose between two good and important things. For instance, I missed the fireside (devotional) tonight because Carson came over and we ate dinner together. Family v. spiritual responsibilities. Tough decision for me to make.

Anyway I'm really tired. Thank goodness for caffeine or I never would have survived this late. I was planning on working until midnight when I can sign up for classes for next semester, but it didn't end up happening. David is rather distracting.

I just want everyone to be happy. =)

NaNo Jitters

AHHH! NaNoWriMo starts next week!!! I'm so excited. It's only a few days away! =D

Of course, I'm trying to psych myself up for it, but it's hard to do that and not DIE when I don't actually write my story.

I just downloaded this program and am trying it out on a trial basis. It seems really cool! And my trial lasts 30 days, so just short of the end of November. That could be problematic in the future haha. I just wanted to try it before I decide whether or not it's worth paying for, you know? It seems really awesome.

I'm moving all of my notes from a word doc over to this one. It's time consuming, which is good. I need to figure out the finer points of the program still, but that gives me something to do, right? And it's working on my story without writing anything. When the times comes, it needs to be set up already or I'll get behind.

It's gonna let me put pictures, music, videos, and notes all in the same place! How convenient! Haha. I'm excited.

I finished my French homework for the day. Now I just need to read for my Isaiah class. I should also try to get going on my French project so I can spend tomorrow and Saturday morning on my Isaiah project. It's gonna be a tough month, November, until I get the projects finished. They're so much work! Oh well. I signed up for this haha.

I register for winter classes tonight. Registration opens at midnight, so that means I have to stay up when I've been known to be in bed by 9:30 XD haha. It's gonna be killer, but if I don't I may not get a place in some of my classes, and I can't handle that. Being a double major with a pre-approved and set schedule makes this stressful. I could be in serious trouble if I don't take the classes when I need to/when I said I would. So we'll see I guess.

If all goes according to plan though, I'll only have classes MWF. I've never had a schedule where I didn't have at least one class every day. I'm looking forward to it. =D Sleeping in a couple times a week would be awesome. Getting up at 6:30 today was brutal. My classes don't start until noon.

I'm used to getting up early, but I'm not used to having so much time in the mornings. I feel like I should be working, but I'm obviously not. Maybe I should get on that...

I'm tired. My alarm clock went off, but it was silent. Rawr. I hate it when it does that. It almost never happens anymore. Lucky me I woke up only half an hour later anyway.

Ok. Back to the books. (And by that, I mean NaNo stuff. School will be later).

Blessings

This post is entirely religious and very personal. If you don't agree with me that's fine, but no negative comments please. Just be respectful. Thank you.

I can't really post about a lot of things that happened today since they're very personal, but I can share some things.

For one thing, I really love my church. I don't know what I would do or where I would be in my life were I not in it, but neither of those answers would be good ones.

Today, my room mate Kristen wasn't feeling well again. This was day 2 that she missed school. So she asked Ryan, our home teacher, if he would come and give her a blessing. He did and brought his room mate, Jeff, to help. (You need 2 or more worthy Priesthood holders to give a blessing in our church). When they came, Emily also asked for a blessing, then I did and then Jessica as well.

Emily and Kristen held out pretty well, but Jessica and I were bawling like babies haha. It was... wonderful, to be honest.

I can't even begin to explain how much relief I felt. So much peace. Comfort is a good word as well, but not quite as much as relief.

Ryan, bless his heart, heard God's message for me VERY clearly. He told me EXACTLY what I needed to hear. I didn't tell him much about what was going on, just that a lot has been stressing me out and that I've been sick and I didn't know what to do. Nothing specific, just that. And yet his answers were everything I needed to hear.

My God, my Father in Heaven loves me. That was the central message I received today. And He knows how hard things have been lately. He really does. But He's always there, waiting to help me when I ask Him to.

I had been talking to Emily about maybe dropping my second major. German is by far my toughest class. I'm really struggling with it and I've been feeling discouraged lately. We were talking about it right before Ryan and Jeff got here. Not even 20 minutes before, and my mentioning it to her was the first time I said anything about it to ANYONE. I had played with the idea before but dismissed it until very recently.

I bring this up because my blessing told me that I need to stick with it. I can't take the easy way out and I know what I need to do. Ryan had NO idea about any of that. He and I are friends, but we're not that close. He doesn't know how hard this has been for me. And yet the right words came out of his mouth. It was a metaphorical slap in the face, but I needed it.

I'm also stretched very thin with all my responsibilities that are each pulling me in a different direction. I tried to dismiss it and tell myself that it's not really all that bad, but Ryan said something about it again. God reassured me, through him, that He knows how little of a balance there is in my life right now and that this, too, is hard. But I know I always have someone to reach out to.

The Savior knows what I'm thinking and feeling and dreaming. He knows everything about me and he felt it all for me and continues to feel it all WITH me. I don't know of many comforts greater than that.

I'm a lucky kid. Without that blessing and the love and support of my amazing room mates and friends, I would never make it through all of this. I don't know how everyone else copes with things like this.

The entire atmosphere of our apartment changed today. There is a warm and calming spirit here tonight where, before they came and blessed us, there was only anxiety and chaos.

After they left, Emily and I decided to go buy ice cream. We walked outside and it was snowing VERY hard. Emily and I love snow. It's the first real snow of the season and we enjoyed every bone-soaking and frozen second of it. It started when we left and stopped moments after we got home. Walking through it warmed my spirits even more. Snow and ice are so comforting to me. I love winter and this was my first taste of it this season. I really needed it, and to me it was just one more little sign of God's love for me.

Life is so hard, but I have so much help.

Thank you everyone for all your support. I feels so wonderful and free right now.

Earlier today, right before they came, I was going to sit down and write something that came to me earlier today. It was full of angst and pain. I like the story, but it's not really cheerful. Once Ryan and Jeff had come and gone, though, I found myself unable to write it at all.

Isn't that wonderful?

I'm such a lucky kid. I just wish there were more ways to sing my God's praises and to give thanks to Him for everything He has done for me, even just today.

Tomorrow is going to be rough. Carson is taking Katie to the MTC (missionary training center) and I know it's going to be a struggle for everyone to get through. But now I'm ready.

With God on my side, I can do ANYTHING. Even in German.

Night all. I love you all so very much. Thank you for reading my blog.

♥♥♥

The Morning Conspiracy

I have figured it out! It took me several years to do it, but eureka! I finally understand.

I am at my most productive in the mornings. I am NOT a morning person. Problem? Yes.

This morning I got up at 5:30. Not too bad right? And I went to bed at 9:30 last night. I used to think 9:30 was the worst bed-time ever. It was torture when I was a kid. But now? Early nights are the best!

Yet, even with so much sleep, I still have a hard time getting up in the mornings. Once I'm up I'm fine, but getting out of bed is the worst!! And I have discovered that this is a conspiracy.

My body is lazy. My mind is not. So there is an eternal struggle. Which side do I listen to? Usually my mind, but yesterday my body won HARD CORE. I was supposed to get up between 5:30 and 6. I slept until 11. I NEVER do that. I even missed my only Monday class because of it and now I keep thinking it's Monday rather than Tuesday. Really confusing, let me tell you.

My body and my bed have conspired against me! Bed gets extra comfortable in the morning and body refuses to let me move. In fact, I kept being forced back to sleep yesterday! So it can't possibly be my fault that I missed German class, right? RIGHT?!

Yeah I know. This post is ridiculous. I just don't wanna do my homework this morning. But I must!

Katie (my brother's girlfriend) is leaving on her mission tomorrow. She came by on Sunday to see everyone one more time, but my brother thought (for a very incomprehensible reason) that I was not here, so they didn't come by. =( Now I have to hurry and get my work done so I can see her before my classes start (which isn't until noon thank goodness).

So here I am, 6:30 am, freezing cold and with wet hair in the kitchen, setting myself up for some serious amounts of work and classes don't start for 5.5 hours. Rawr.

Anyway, thanks for reading everyone! I wish people would comment... I love hearing from people. So if you have a sec, share some love! =) It would brighten up my very dark and very cold Tuesday.

(And I know I'm whining, but it's supposed to snow today and it's not even Halloween! I thought I had escaped Halloween snow when I left the Burgh, but I guess I was mistaken haha).

Bye all!

P.S. My global warfare is spreading! I have readers in Denmark, the UK, the US, Germany, France, Japan, and Russia! It makes me happy. =) Thanks again everyone! Have a wonderful day!!